You Too can be Living Full Throttle

Full Throttle Energy has been the Bastard Child of Energy Drinks for some time now, and I fully support this. While others come at you with 2.99 for a 8 ounce can, Full Throttle is a MIND BLOWING 1.99 for 24 ounces of Energy. Why can they do this you may ask. Because it's not terribly good, and it's put out by Coca Cola. They've got enough money, so they market it towards the Bearded Ranks. Those of you out there who may in fact love the smell of leather against your sun burnt skin, or perhaps like to keep a Pit Bull chained next to you at all times. If you are NOT a "Gangsta Biker" it's ok though. It's still decent. Not teh best, but surely not teh worst, thank you again Double Hit.

Taste is odd. Not sure what it is that I get from it. It's somewhere in between Cherry Coke and a berry juice drink. I don't understand it, or the high quantity of gas it gives me, but I feel as if I should bark like DMX and talk like Kris Kristofferson when I drink it.

Taste 7 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 2 out of 10

Energy Given 6 out of 10


Overall 7 out of 10


Photo Courtesy of Full Throttle Energy

No New Posts for a Bit

Jacobus is over in Finland for some stupid Rock festival for a week or 2, and I'm broke.

I could just go with past experience of the drinks, but I would much rather review as I drink them.

You'll just have to live without them and check out while you're waiting.

Howling Monkey - The Drink with the Howling Big Taste

Like a mix of Urine and Gasoline, Howling Monkey DOES have a big taste. Unfortunately it is horrendous. While this is not the worst Energy Drink I've ever tasted, thank YOU Double Hit, it certainly is almost unbearable. The can itself looks Wicked Awesome, but in the end is ll for show.

Granted the one I am trying is another Sugarfree variety, but still. It's as if a PCP junkie Clown attacked me with a Seltzer Bottle. The additive that Howling Monkey likes to use is called Quinine, and it's the active ingredient in Tonic Water. BAD Howling Monkey, bad...

The makers of Sparks had me at hello, but really let me down. When was the last time you heard a Jerry McGuire reference? Am I hip yet?

Taste 1 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 8 out of 10

Energy Given 6 out of 10


Overall 3 out of 10



Photo Courtesy of Gilbert & Sanchez Since Howling Monkey seems to be the damn Masons

Zipfizz - Liquidshot

While I have never heard of this Energy Drink, I am willing to try anything once. ANYTHING...

It comes in a handy dandy 4oz size for easy conceilability in case you wanted to fill the quickly consu,ed liquid with your favorite libation.

Over all it's just a sugary source of Niacin as far as I can figure. Fruit Punch flavor=Sugar with a vitamin aftertaste. While it SAYS it doesn't contain sugar I might as well eat a Beehive. It's THAT sweet.

Taste 7 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 3 out of 10

Energy Given 6 out of 10


Overall 7 out of 10



Photo Courtesy of Zipfizz

Kaballah Energy Drink - With Kaballah Water!

"Kabbalah Energy Drink is a refreshing source of positive energy for your busy lifestyle...so whether you need to take your dog for a walk, study for finals, bar-hop with friends or just need a second wind at the office, reach for Kabbalah Energy Drink."

When I need to fein like a Meth addict I like to drink Kaballah! I mix it with Whiskey, stick it in my coffee, and feed it to the dog! Only because if Jesus were here it's the Energy Drink HE would choose, and since he needs to watch his weight he'd choose Sugar Free. Jesus, that fatty.

Kaballah Energy Drink should only be bought and consumed if you simply want to tell people you did. It really doesn't have an redeeming qualities. Like all Sugar Free varieties it tastes like water and vitamins, and who want's that? The aftertaste isn't terribly stong, but the FormerTaste isn't anything, so it's hard to judge.

Taste 2 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 2 out of 10

Energy Given 3 out of 10


Overall 4 out of 10



Photo provided from Kaballah Energy Drink