EnOrgy

EnOrgy..all the Sex you need!

2007-06-07T13:03:00.000-07:00

The problem with reviewing Energy Drinks is that I have drank 99% of the drinks I've ever ran across, yet that was all before starting this site. This means I have to go back and drink them all over again, and then subsequently find them again. This is a problem because blogging doesn't pay, but I digress.

In the meantime enjoy this commercial.

Powerthirst Sports Drink Spoof - Watch more free videos

Give me Corporate Sponsorship. I've got ideas for drinks!

Wired Tropical

2007-05-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

"Tropical is one of our latest and greatest Wired flavors! A real mango and passion fruit flavor we know you will like. Try it straight or as a mixer.

Fuel Your Body.
Get Wired!"

Still working on my stock-hold of Wired Energy drinks, and I still have one to review after Tropical. Once I actually get paid to have advertisements I will be able to stock up.

Tropical so far is my top flavor from Wired. I do tend to steer towards the Citrus Drinks however. Less Orange and more Grapefruit flavors drive this supplement. Overall it's enjoyable without being overpowering. As far as the grand scheme of things it's not that great, but for Wired it's their front runner.

Taste 8 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 3 out of 10

Energy Given 6 out of 10

Overall 7 out of 10

Image Provided by Wired Energy

Pit Bull - Attitude in a Can

2007-05-15T16:49:00.000-07:00

Despite Doctor's Orders, I just accepted my 4th Energy Drink of the day. Granted this new review is about a 8.4 fl oz drink, I think I'm fine to drink at least 2 more tonight.

Pit Bull describes itself as "100% American Made, 100% Tough, and 100% Pit Bull." I'm not quite sure what that's supposed to mean, but it worked. I got a special delivery of a Pit Bull this afternoon. Somewhere between the tastes of Cream Soda and Sprite it is completely drinkable as a supplement. For those who just need a pick me up and still have the ability to feel the effects of caffeine we reccomend this drink. Good luck finding it however. I drink 2-3 a day Drinks and this is the first I've ever heard of it.

Taste 8 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 3 out of 10

Energy Given 7 out of 10

Overall 8* out of 10

*---UPDATE---

The fact that Pit Bull is made by the same people who bring the world Roscoes Chicken & Waffles gives it an Honorary extra point.

Photo and Video Courtesy of Pit Bull Energy

Wired Energy...mix it with Jaeger!

2007-05-15T11:22:00.000-07:00

Wired Energy has done what so few seem to have, and tried to incorporate innate sexual fantasies into their drinks. Why others haven't done this I'm not totally sure, but I think THIS might be the answer.

"Wired. It goes good with liquor!"

She looks MUCH less Wired than she does the random sorority girl I dry humped at a party when I was 19 after she passed out. Am I saying this ISN'T my new wallpaper? No, it surely is...just sayin'

Visit Wired Energy for ALL the Miss Wired Desktops

Wired Energy Drink - Berry

2007-05-15T11:14:00.000-07:00

"We heard you loud and clear, “give us a Wired Flavor”, here it is: new Wired Berry. Great berry taste along with our regular Wired ingredients."

What kind of berry I don't know. A little Raspberry, perhaps a bit of Red Huckleberry, with a dash of Loganberry? I don't have the slightest, I'm just going on taste. It could just be a bunch of caffeine poured over some expired Grape Shasta for all I know.

The berry taste takes away from the normal Energy ingredients, but with such a tart in the aftertaste it loses something.

Taste 7 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 4 out of 10

Energy Given 5 out of 10

Overall 6 out of 10

Photo Courtesy of Wired Energy

Wired Energy; Fuel Your Body. Get Wired.

2007-05-14T12:09:00.000-07:00

"Wired Energy Supplement
Wired Energy Drink is specially formulated to be the best-tasting energy drink on the planet."

Good try, but no. I bought 30 cans of Assorted Wired Energy Drinks for 50 cents apiece at a local Canned Food Outlet, and its worth EVERY penny. While the Regular Wired isn't horrible by any means, it is in no way the Best of anything. With a taste like you mixed Orange Juice and Pepsi it does quench, but that's it. Overall it's a good drink for the casual drinker. It's not fancy, and gets the job done.

Taste 6 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 6 out of 10

Energy Given 7 out of 10

Overall 6 out of 10

Photo Courtesy of Wired Energy

Coolah Energy - Energy from Down Under

2007-05-02T11:17:00.000-07:00

First off, let me tell you that Squirt kicks ass.I don't care what anyone says, Squirt has GOT to be the most refreshing of all sodas out there. Pretty sure that's where Coolah got the idea.

It's citrusy, it's delicious, and it contains some weird Australian ingredient called Boronia, which is really just a citrus plant. Either way them damn Ozzies did good by me.

Refreshing, no aftertaste, and apparently "One Bonzer Drink"

Taste 9 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 1 out of 10

Energy Given 5 out of 10

Overall 8 out of 10

Yes I know it's upside down. Visit Their Site...Fucking Australians

You Too can be Living Full Throttle

2007-04-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

Full Throttle Energy has been the Bastard Child of Energy Drinks for some time now, and I fully support this. While others come at you with 2.99 for a 8 ounce can, Full Throttle is a MIND BLOWING 1.99 for 24 ounces of Energy. Why can they do this you may ask. Because it's not terribly good, and it's put out by Coca Cola. They've got enough money, so they market it towards the Bearded Ranks. Those of you out there who may in fact love the smell of leather against your sun burnt skin, or perhaps like to keep a Pit Bull chained next to you at all times. If you are NOT a "Gangsta Biker" it's ok though. It's still decent. Not teh best, but surely not teh worst, thank you again Double Hit.

Taste is odd. Not sure what it is that I get from it. It's somewhere in between Cherry Coke and a berry juice drink. I don't understand it, or the high quantity of gas it gives me, but I feel as if I should bark like DMX and talk like Kris Kristofferson when I drink it.

Taste 7 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 2 out of 10

Energy Given 6 out of 10

Overall 7 out of 10

Photo Courtesy of Full Throttle Energy

No New Posts for a Bit

2007-04-18T14:19:00.000-07:00

Jacobus is over in Finland for some stupid Rock festival for a week or 2, and I'm broke.

I could just go with past experience of the drinks, but I would much rather review as I drink them.

You'll just have to live without them and check out while you're waiting.

Howling Monkey - The Drink with the Howling Big Taste

2007-04-05T09:47:00.000-07:00

Like a mix of Urine and Gasoline, Howling Monkey DOES have a big taste. Unfortunately it is horrendous. While this is not the worst Energy Drink I've ever tasted, thank YOU Double Hit, it certainly is almost unbearable. The can itself looks Wicked Awesome, but in the end is ll for show.

Granted the one I am trying is another Sugarfree variety, but still. It's as if a PCP junkie Clown attacked me with a Seltzer Bottle. The additive that Howling Monkey likes to use is called Quinine, and it's the active ingredient in Tonic Water. BAD Howling Monkey, bad...

The makers of Sparks had me at hello, but really let me down. When was the last time you heard a Jerry McGuire reference? Am I hip yet?

Taste 1 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 8 out of 10

Energy Given 6 out of 10

Overall 3 out of 10

Photo Courtesy of Gilbert & Sanchez Since Howling Monkey seems to be the damn Masons

Zipfizz - Liquidshot

2007-04-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

While I have never heard of this Energy Drink, I am willing to try anything once. ANYTHING...

It comes in a handy dandy 4oz size for easy conceilability in case you wanted to fill the quickly consu,ed liquid with your favorite libation.

Over all it's just a sugary source of Niacin as far as I can figure. Fruit Punch flavor=Sugar with a vitamin aftertaste. While it SAYS it doesn't contain sugar I might as well eat a Beehive. It's THAT sweet.

Taste 7 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 3 out of 10

Energy Given 6 out of 10

Overall 7 out of 10

Photo Courtesy of Zipfizz

Kaballah Energy Drink - With Kaballah Water!

2007-04-03T13:34:00.000-07:00

"Kabbalah Energy Drink is a refreshing source of positive energy for your busy lifestyle...so whether you need to take your dog for a walk, study for finals, bar-hop with friends or just need a second wind at the office, reach for Kabbalah Energy Drink."

When I need to fein like a Meth addict I like to drink Kaballah! I mix it with Whiskey, stick it in my coffee, and feed it to the dog! Only because if Jesus were here it's the Energy Drink HE would choose, and since he needs to watch his weight he'd choose Sugar Free. Jesus, that fatty.

Kaballah Energy Drink should only be bought and consumed if you simply want to tell people you did. It really doesn't have an redeeming qualities. Like all Sugar Free varieties it tastes like water and vitamins, and who want's that? The aftertaste isn't terribly stong, but the FormerTaste isn't anything, so it's hard to judge.

Taste 2 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 2 out of 10

Energy Given 3 out of 10

Overall 4 out of 10

Photo provided from Kaballah Energy Drink

Sove Essential Energy - Berry Pomegranate

2007-03-30T21:38:00.000-07:00

Called "The Better-For-You Energy" Sobe really delivers. With multiple flavors, this is not the front runner, but by no means is it far behind. The difference of flavors with Pomegranate is a welcome change to the abundance of Citrus Energy Drinks out there. With only 7% juice it's quite a surpirse. The flavor is almost over powering. With 48mg of Caffeine it packs quite a surpising punch, no pun intended with its flavor. I can HIGHLY reccomend this drink for even the casual Energy Drinker. For the veteran Energy Fiend it is MORE than adequete.

Taste 9 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 2 out of 10

Energy Given 6 out of 10

Overall 8 out 0f 10

Photo Courtesy of Sobe

Wired XXX - Ultimate Sex Drive

2007-03-30T13:10:00.000-07:00

"Wired Triple X is specially formulated with the benefits of Horny Goat Weed, L-Arginine, Maca, and Tribulus terrestris to help enhance your sexual prowess. Get Wired, Stay Wired!"

I seriously doubt the existence of the "Ultimate Sex Drive" portion of this drink. I drank it and have felt no lasting effects. Horny Goat Weed has beena round for some time, and in this time I have not heard a SINGLE case where it assisted anything.

Overall it isn't terrible, but not terribly good either. It's aftertaste is quite tart and unwelcoming. It has a VERY strong "Juice" flavor, with a bite that reminds me of Cranberry. The caffeine isn't as strong as the name Wired should imply. Really I don't suggest this drink for anyone with ANY affliction, sorry Wired. You've done good in the past, but this time you strike out.

Taste 4 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 6 out of 10

Energy Given 2 out of 10

Overall 3 out 0f 10

Photo Courtesy of Wired Energy

NOS - High Performance Energy Drink

2007-03-29T13:15:00.000-07:00

NOS labels itself as "Throttle in a Bottle", and for all purposes delivers. It's light passionfruit flavor isn't overpowered by it's aftertaste. As far as Caffeine driven it's a let down. NOS doesn't deliver an adequete "High" of energy. While it does provide numerous supplements and subsequent nutrients, they don't take the drink over like some.

Taste 8 out of 10

Aftertaste Strength 3 out of 10

Energy Given 5 out of 10

Overall 7 out of 10

Photo Courtesty of http://drinknos.com/